dear god, pepper is BACK

ok. i am pretty sure i was ovulating last week. or something womanly. because i cannot even tell you what or why i had that meltdown. but i guess that is why i am awesomely dramatic. and nothing does drama better than a complete and total meltdown... in front of your work pals. nightmare. anyway, here is the info that you have been missing:

1. i tried out for BL on saturday. i got a VIP pass which basically guaranteed me a spot to see the casting directors and i didn't have to wake up super early to get in line. so we went around 8 am and left around 9 am. really quick and very anti-climatic process. we sat in a group of 12 people half-circling a casting director. we had 7 minutes. each person told the director who we were, fatness, do we play sports? what restaurant do we like? 2 interesting things about you that is NOT on your application. i SO wish i had NOT taken this liTeral. because i blew it. i didn't even talk about anthon or why i need this weight loss. thus, no call back. but whatev. also, i must say that i have NEVER been upset about being the smallest person in a group. well, i was very upset about this fact on saturday. 235 lbs is just a little crack userish i guess. anyway, we are moving on and here we go to number...

2. the most epic BL audition tape ever. i will be posting the final product on this blog. but i just want you to know that it is going to include some very awesome lip syncing and dancing moves - pretty much as awesome as an episode of glee. mr. rosewater says "well, you will be memorable". so here goes nothing.

3. i weighed myself this morning. i gained 7 lbs. i am back to 235.2 lbs. i needed to face the music. and i have to be accountable. so there you go, god. i am out of the ruble of rock and moving forward. i have decided that MD clinic can suck it. i refuse to even think about them. i can do this without them. so i am going back to my old standby - body for life. i love this program. it just fits me. i love the diet, workouts, and very much the FREE DAY. even though i get lots of dia from my free days. however, if you really know me then you know i do not mind an occasional bought of dia. sorry.

anyway, i am feeling much better. i am cruising in exactly 27 days. i am really wanting to get to my 15%. which is 12.2 lbs. i am not sure this can happen. 3 lbs a week. its a little steep. but i need all the encouragement i can get. so that means, god, that you need to put bugs in people's ears. like those that i live with and work with and see all the time. and even those i don't know that are in the same boat i am. advice is very SOLICITED at this time.

OMWord. i have to get this video done asap. before i lose anymore weight :) and before the deadline - which is march 25. aaahhhh. just a little fun precursor for you... can you say "i don't think your ready for this jelly"

love, your bootylicious lady, pepper