dear god, hate to love it...

i exercised today. it was insane. and i felt amazing after. love those endorphins. i got these dvds years ago. and they are intense. and although i may like her in real life, i want to spew venom in JMs face. not because she is yelling at the camera constantly to work harder, or that her workouts are insanely hard. because both of those are facts. i want to punch her in the face because she has this weird awkward flirtation going on with all members of her workout team. and i kind of hate it. but whatevs. she has a killer body. so i must do as she says. annoying or not. 

tomorrow i am possibly going to try zumba at sweaty chix. i say possibly because the class is fairly late in the evening. as of right now i am committed. but with my ever so UNpredictable job, i just don't know how the day will go. i totally counted all points today too. even the new deliciousness that reeses peanut butter cups have come out with. 

love, your endorphin crazed lady, pepps

dear god, yes...i am certifiable

ok i am insane. i know it. but i have been SO down lately. hating life. hating myself. felling failureish. so i said. hcg...you and i are not working. at all. you make me tired. and have diarhea. and i am SO deprived. so i consulted with mr. rosewater and team mousetrap. and i have come to the conclusion that this weight is coming off no matter what. and i need to change my life. i got a great jump start with the hcg. but now i need to make a change that will last forever. so i joined weight watchers. and when i walked out of the meeting, i felt amazing. a humongous weight was lifted off my shoulders. and i realized a lot of my tiredness was emotional. i feel so free. and excited. i can't wait to exercise. and diet appropriately. i mean. i feel bad. that little rosewater may be 6 or so before he may get another sibling to play with. but i have accepted that. and i think this is a better choice for me. even in the 30 minutes i was at weight watchers i felt better than i ever felt at MD diet. they should take pointers from the ladies at ww. they made me feel so welcome and most importantly made me feel like i can really do this. so. with all that said. i am changing my goals. and my beginning weight to coincide with ww. i will keep my hcg before and after pics. but will start new pics today and continue taking them until i am at my goal weight. so. here we go.