dear god, i'm a little gassy

yes. i said it. these digestive enzymes, fiber, and whatever else i am taking are making me have A LOT of gas. so  just for your information and those around me. this is a preface. sorry.

anyway, i went to insanity yesterday. she told me to quit smoking. gah. i know. but at this point in my life i am attempting to not have any vices. really. so smoking is now my vice. but the funny thing about smoking right now is that i know it's bad for my body and i know that it can kill me. ironically though, i don't care. so i smoke. too much. however, mr. rosewater is in the process of quitting right now. after he is through with that,  i will start my non-smoking journey.

i went to zumba 2 times last week. it would have been 3, but i missed the damn (sorry god, but it really is that bad) exit.

so i walked around some stores instead. not has heavy as zumba, but at least i was trying to be active. anyway. one time i went to zumba at night. instead of my usual day time/morning routine. oh dear god. you invented something awful. and that is zumba at night. i seriously thought i was going to die - insert quit smoking - but seriously. i was already so worn out from the day and coming off all of my regular medication. i could barely make it home. i don't even remember passing the krishna temple. and that's bad. hence, i couldn't make it to my regular zumba the next day. for now i am sticking to sun up zumba.

my food is going ok. god, you have to tell everyone about THIS WEBSITE all i can say is that everyone needs to be on this site. it is better than any other resource site i have tried. and of course it is free. it is better than ww online, my fitness pal, whatever. i love it. it shows you graphs of intake of fat, carbs, protein, ect. everyday is a new learning experience about what i am putting into my body. please pray that others will see the light and join this.

i only lost .4 lbs this week. but oddly enough i don't care. i am really focusing on my mind right now. looking into some chakra balancing and such. so the food thing is coming naturally. plus i am not that hungry. enjoying my working out and i know it will come off eventually. 

mr. rosewater started school again today. and that is sad for me. so i am going to visit my cousin. we will call her (sing 4th) so we can veg. her daughter (baby i once held) moved across country today. so we are both sad. and need some will and grace to cheer us up. little rosewater went back to his beloved sitter today too. so things are starting to get back into routine. however, my routine will not be the same. for instance i am up after the rosewater boys left. where as i used to go back to sleep.

ok, that is it for now. hope to talk to you soon, god. getting real close to that thing they are all talking about. spirituality and such.

love, your gassy girl, pepper

dear god, i gained - what?

so my nutritionist - we will call her insanity. and this is out of pure love. because she knows so much INSANELY information. (bad sentence structure, whatev) she is sweet, understanding, caring, teeny tiny, package of information. she knows everything. its INSANE. thus why i like to call her insanity. i really do love her. and lets be honest, god, we all know who is insane here (insert laugh, come on people that was funny). anyway, so i saw insanity yesterday. and what? i gained!!! i have been tracking, and yes, god, i did exercise. once. but it counts. so insanity was totally cool about it. your body chemistry is trying to figure things out with your new medication, you just exercised (before weigh in), this and that. SO sweet. does NOT want me to give up. so i left there thinking, whatev body. you can gain weight. i don't care. i'm loving this new insanity meeting every week. exercising. learning to find peace within myself. i'm fine. no melt down. just kept on moving along. it was AHmazing. i felt so good leaving insanity's house. she is the link. she is it. god, thank you to my wonderful mother who found insanity for me. i will be forever grateful to her for this. also, god. thanks for making me go to zumba by myself. because if i kept waiting for a friend's schedule to open, it would have never happened. and yes. i am the only white chick latin dancing it up. but i love it so much. i wanted to go twice yesterday.

love, your insanity loving, exercising maniac, pepper

ps. to the boss. i think that is what i call you. coconut milk is AHmazing. try it. it only has 90 cals in a cup. and insanity told me to drink it. so i am pretty sure it is better for you then regular milk. because she is all knowing. and itsy bitsy.

dear god, i zumba at LATIN ENERGY STUDIO

this is my favorite new place to get my workout on. just putting it out there that i love zumba and i love latin energy studio. check out their blog and their facebook page AND come zumba with me.

love your zumba sista, pepper

dear god, i'm back

it's been a few months, i know. not that i want to get into details, but i have had a bit of a problem lately, and am now trying to face this journey again. the healthy way. so first things first. i have gained all the hCG weight back, and more. i am going to a nutritionist and according to her scale - which i will go by for structure sake - i weigh the most i have in my entire life. i am dealing with this. i am not yet to the point of being ok with this. but i am working on it. so here is what is going on:

1. i meet with my nutritionist one on one every week for 15. the first time was much longer. anyway, this woman knows everything. it is insane and overwhelming. i gave her my most recent blood level sheet from my doctor and she went through it with a fine tooth comb. she knew how to read everything, what levels were good/bad, what could be causing weight gain or not loss, ect. it was amazing. she is incredible. just this little spit fire of nutrition. everything that comes out of her mouth is something new and exciting i can try. she is actually (hopefully soon) putting together a cook book for the holidays. she is out of this world. there is no disappointment in her face or voice or anything if you step on the scale and the number goes up. as i did last week and my number went up .3 lbs. which was good considering i was in the hospital for a week (another story).

2. she has a nutritional plan for me. i can eat 1600 cals a day. she wants me to write everything down. i use thedailyplate.com. best free online tracker i have used. i love it. it even shows a graph of how many carbs, protein, and fat you are consuming everyday to help you stay on target. it sounds a lot like weight watchers, but i am getting the one on one time with her, it is cheaper, and you build a relationship. it's almost like you want to track what you eat because you care about this person. anyway.

3. i am to do 60 minutes of cardio 3 times a week. and will then add in 2 days of weight work. i haven't been stellar on my cardio. BUT, as my therapist would want me to point out... i found a zumba class that will work with my schedule and went. all by myself. and it was amazing. dear god, how i miss dancing. the music, the studio, the movement, the sweating, everything. it was exhilarating. i know i will get on a regular schedule, things have just been a little "crazy" around here and we are trying to adjust.

so a few things to add:
a. i take a daily vitamen
b. i take a tbsp of cod liver oil - tastes like oily pine sol
c. i take daily enzymes. i think those are for energy
d. i am working on getting a rx for an iron pill
e. coconut milk is the best thing on this planet
d. and i need to drink 80-100 oz water a day - no SODA!!! i love you DDP

so anyway, here is my journal again to my weight loss journey. feel free to ask questions. i will try and update frequently, but at least one time a week after my check in with my new BFF.

love, your coconut milk drinking gal, pepper