dear god, i am attempting to savor this moment

mr. rosewater had spring break this weekend. and it was easter. so we celebrated with spring/easter traditions. little rosewater had an egg hunt in the den (this damn utah weather is killing me). his eggs came pre-packaged with sugary candy like "nerds" and "laffy taffy". i bought those on purpose, so i wouldn't be tempted with the premium pre-packaged eggs containing chocolate treats. thank god for those "nerds" or else i wouldn't have had any candy at all. meaning that little rosewater (because he thinks he is hysterical) put two little "nerds" in my coveted water bottle. thus, i had a sugary sweet 20 oz surprise.

then, we all colored eggs. and i must say that i very much dislike all these companies (yes, including YOU paas) that have to amp up their egg coloring techniques every year. as if the sheer color factor isn't 'egg'tastic enough. they have to add all this sparkle, camo, sticker, ultra neon nonsense into the mix. not. a. fan. anyway. the eggs have been a treat thus far. because i am allowed one egg on my 500 cals a day. i LOVE hard boiled eggs. and i LOVE that every easter we would make them into egg salad sandies. as nice as that fattening numminess makes my stomach giggle with delight, i am having just as much fun this year without all the cals.

i am officially back down to the 230s. i get a little annoyed with myself that i gained that much weight back. but it has been a lesson. and let us be honest. for reals. it may have been worth gaining a little weight on the cruise. it was that much fun. but i would have liked it to have been only 5 lbs. or none at all. but i guess i am saying that the real HOT pepper inside of me enjoyed myself enough not to beat the less intense pepper up about it. so i lived it up. a lot. and now learning. and paying. but i can do this.

i have been reading the happiness project. loving it. it really has put me in the moment. because if you really know me you know that all i do is plan. plan for the future. i am actually trying to type this and plan what my next steps are to getting ready for bed. but i think if i would have stayed in the moment with baby rosewater and not been planning his homecoming, my time might have been different with him. don't get me wrong. i enjoyed all of it. but would i have savored it more had i been there in that moment rather than thinking about other mundane things? this also helps with my eating and weight "project". i try not to think too far ahead. like, well if i lose this much weight by this date then... i mean i have goals. but i am trying to focus on what i need to do for today. it is a big help.

love, pepper.