dear god, is it bad that i think self affirmations are weird?

well god, the people that answered my very needed request were so wonderful. so thank you for them and their support. i loved everything everyone said and although i still feel emotionally drained, i am back on the wagon - due to my rockin friends and family. i have all the comments printed and put up in my exercise sanctuary to remind me that i need to keep going everyday.

...back on the wagon, but struggling with this maintenance phase. and by struggling, i mean, it is hard to eat more than i have been. because i pretty much just keep eating the same things as on the hCG, but more of it. my head is in a bad place, so i think i am just like whatever, i'll just drink tea. HOWEVER, i am super excited to start working out. i only exercised one time this week, but it was wonderful. and mr. rosewater said "that was weird" when i told him i was going to be exercising for the next hour. apparently it is pretty rare that i make this statement :)

i still REALLY want chocolate. which is another rare thing for me. usually i want fries or pizza. but i can't stop thinking about chocolate.

i haven't weighed in few days. should i continue to weigh everyday? i am afraid if the scale continues to go up and down i will get frustrated. my clothes are still getting looser (more loose?) . so that makes me happy. and i have a general sense of happiness about myself - most of the time.

i went to old navy the other day with little rosewater. i know, i am obsessed with old navy. but, i haven't been able to try stuff on in the store in a LONG time. so i put a bunch of stuff in the basket and went to town. no i did not buy anything. i just wanted to see how things fit. i can't believe i can wear an XL in most things, on top at least.

so god, my question today is, how do i learn to love myself? lots of people say that is what i need to do. and i think i like myself for the most part. but, i can't like read self affirmations everyday. i just think of stuart smalley and then i can't be serious. i guess i could read a self help book. and literally, if someone asked me what they should do to love themselves. i wouldn't' even know where to begin. which obviously means i have no idea and that it (loving myself) isn't something i am good at. which is a problem, because i am kind of in the work field of helping others love themselves. so i should be into that as well, right?

love, to weigh or not to weigh, pepper.