dear god, i cheated

its been 12 days since my last BIG cheat. here come the excuses. i couldn't take it anymore. i was so starving i almost ate a page from the book i was reading. mr. rosewater and a buddy ordered and ate pizza/cheese sticks dipped in ranch right in front of me. its ok. mr. rosewater has to eat too. but i wanted to die. and i did not partake. until everyone went to bed. i have to tell you god, it was glorious. the taste of the cheese stick(s) and ranch. they try to tell us that those things will no longer taste good after a while. that we are addicted to the grease infused in the food. but they are LIARS. that is the best thing i have eaten in 12 days. oh and don't worry i had a handful(s) of some dark chocolate m&ms as well. those are also supposed to taste terrible, according to the skinny nutritionist. well they didn't, they were also glorious. but i payed for it this morning, or not, because i did ask the other day for help with a BM. and i didn't gain. but didn't lose much either. however, i feel better. i have confessed, and i am back to feeling like i can move on and do this thing. for 34 more days. 

i am ALMOST at my 5% goal. 12. 6 lbs this morning. mr. rosewater and i have discussed rewards. and i have decided to get just dance 2. because i started working out in my new gym sanctuary. and it is fabulous. so now i need to get my groove on. 

love, your newly confessed, pepper